Sunday, September 4, 2011

Good Kind of Struggle

Even though there are moments when you suddenly are so frustrated that you feel like falling to your knees and screaming at the top of your lungs, today was a good kind of struggle. 

"The hardest things to do in life are the ones that are for your own good."  --Rang so true for me today.  I bit my tongue, stood up for myself, wasn't afraid to ask difficult questions, and was able to cut the chord that was wrapping itself around my throat. 

I don't know why I have such a difficulty with change, but, damn it, I'm ready!  I feel like I can breathe again.  I was terrified, thinking, "Can I really do this?  Can I really cut those ties?  I know they bring sadness every time they're reexamined, but I just can't let them go."  Well, the first step was taken for me when I found a chord already cut from another direction.  That simplest of steps made every other seem possible; bearable.  And with my little moment of courage, I finally cut those strings that were draggin me down.

I really feel like I can breathe again, and like there are absolutely no reasons for me to be afraid any longer. 

I'm free.

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