Music

I just realized that my life's center is music.  I have this friend who's entire family is centered, separately from the Gospel, on boating and water sports.  They spend all their free time on their boat, they spend most of their family time in the water, and it brings them closer together.  It's what makes them happiest and feel the most fulfilled.  I was feeling like I'm out of balance, or something was missing.  I turned on "Sweet Disposition" by Temper Trap, and I couldn't sit still!  I instantly felt alive and happy and like I could scream at the top of my lungs because I was so relieved.  It was exactly what was missing.  Not a boy, not a dream, not a dollar amount, not a possession; a song.  I need it to be happy, and to be me.  It's what I create when I'm struggling or happy or sad or angry.  It's what I turn to when I need an outlet or a comfort or the words to define my emotions.  It helps me to know that someone else gets what I'm feeling, and they know the right words to help get me through it, good or bad.  I can literally sing for hours and never get sick of it.  Or lay on my floor with headphones in and happily not get up for an hour.  It's my passion and what makes my heart sing.  It cannot be tainted by the outside world.  It is the best thing, b/c it's constantly evolving, but never changes.  Once a song is written, it cannot be undone.  It is what it is.  Simplified.  You can change a song, or write another one, but you can never unwrite a song.  Once it's there, it will never go away.  And it's part of its creator.  Whether it's a 60 second ditty on the guitar teasing a friend about singing or a wordless melody that goes on for 5 minutes, it came from you. It's like a part of your soul, a glimpse into who you are as a spirit; no pretenses or falsehoods.  You can't lie in music.  You may make up words, but the music itself is what is truth beyond doubt.  The Gospel is amazing and important to me, and is the foundation.  But music,... I don't know.  Music is the walls and the floors.  It's the rest.  The building is filled with things like family and friends, and significant people in my life.  Those that change it and improve it. The memories made between us and the activities we do.  But everything else is music.  The windows, the walls and the floors. :)


P.s.  As I was rereading this, I realized it sounded a lot like how I feel about the Savior.  See if you have something that makes you happy like that :]